If you’re considering joining us at the Sanctuary, whether to hold a gathering, join one, or spend a day in the space, welcome. Here are a few things to know about how we live and gather in this home. None of it is fussy rule-keeping. It’s simply how we love this home, and each other, well.
Stewardship
While you may be renting or visiting, here we gather as community, not as guests. There’s a Hawaiian word, kahu, which essentially means that you don’t truly own something precious, whether a pet or a home, so much as care for it, as its guardian and keeper. That is how I hold my relationship to this home. While I legally own the space, I am simply its steward, and I invite you into loving stewardship with me.
In Living Relationship with the Spirit of the House
I hold this home in an animist spirit: the house is a living being with a presence of her own. She is referred to simply as the Spirit of the House, and you are invited to honor her in simple, devotional ways:
- Greet her when you enter, with a mist of aromatherapy (there’s a spritz spray in the space), a little incense, a small donation, or simply an acknowledgment.
- Tend her as you go: tidy, refresh, and care for what you touch. Treat the whole home as a living altar, where everything placed is intentional.
- Leave her a little better than you found her. Talk to her. Thank her for holding you.
- Give back to her care, in the spirit of the gratitude noted at the end of this document.
Treat her as something special rather than something to be used up. Offer this with devotion, and you’ll likely find she blesses you in return.
While You’re Here — Ethos and Guidelines
- Shoes off: We’re a (mostly) shoes-off home, which keeps the floors clean for all the bodies that rest and move on them. Bring house slippers or cozy socks if you’d like something on your feet. You’ll find shoe racks by the entry, with extra space in the laundry/coat room. Please don’t leave shoes scattered across the floor; we have elders in this space and it’s a trip hazard. If a medical need calls for shoes indoors, no problem, just make them house shoes or a pair you’ve wiped clean.
- Coats and bags: There’s a coat room by the entry for coats and bags. Tucking them away keeps the Sanctuary open and uncluttered.
- A fragrance-free home: Ours is a scent-sensitive home, both because I’m highly allergic to perfumes and synthetic fragrances and because many essential oils are toxic to dogs. Please leave scented and chemical products at home. If you love working with scent, we’ve got you: dog-safe oils and an aromatherapy burner are here, along with resins, leaves, and woods for intentional use.
- Gabby: Gabby is my gentle poodle-terrier mix. She has a warning bark but loves a little company, and she will also happily give you space if you ask. She carries some trauma from being attacked by other dogs, so this is a one-dog space. She isn’t usually in the Sanctuary, though she may find her way down if we aren’t mindful.
- A low-technology space: This is an intentional, be-here-now kind of place. You’re warmly invited to leave your phone in the charging drawers in the front entry and take a real break from screens. There’s an old iPhone downstairs you can use to connect to the speakers.
- Caring for the space: Everyone helps keep this a sanctuary. We share the load so it never becomes a burden for a few. Here we practice humility, shared stewardship, and relationships that are as egalitarian and non-hierarchical as we can make them. We each tend what we touch and tidy as we go, so the space stays lovely for whoever comes next. Cleaning supplies live behind the curtain in the bathroom, by the washer and dryer. Help yourself whenever you need them.
- In the kitchen: Clean as you go and wipe down after cooking. The butcher-block counter and other surfaces mark easily, and we’d love to keep them beautiful, so please protect them: coasters under glasses, and trivets under anything hot rather than setting it bare on the surface.
- The bathrooms: Leave them fresh for the next person. And a heads-up, the toilets are a bit of an adventure: heated seats, bidet functions, and lids that open on their own. For standing use, slide your right foot in front of the sensor at the base to raise or lower the bottom seat. They should flush on their own; if one doesn’t, the remote will do it, and it has all sorts of functions for your hygienic pleasure. Have fun, and please set the remote back where you found it.
- Temperature: We’re still refining how to heat and cool the space well, so bear with us. It runs cool, so the two middle registers in the main room stay closed semi-permanently, and for lying-down events we usually close the other three with magnet covers. There are two space heaters by the main area (with extra heaters in each bedroom closet), more blankets than you’ll ever need in the storage closet, and shawls in one of the gray footstool seats. For larger gatherings, when many warm bodies heat the room, you may want to open the vents.
- Quiet and neighbors: We’re in a residential neighborhood we care about. Please arrive and leave gently, keep voices low outside, and if you’re here into the evening, hold quiet hours between 10pm and 6am. Being considerate neighbors is a big part of how this space gets to keep doing what it does.
- Parking: Please park three cars deep in the driveway, then behind those cars along the street, and carpool whenever you can. Once the driveway and our frontage are full, please park along the school field fence on 15th so we don’t crowd the neighbors.
- Upstairs is private: Gatherings happen in the downstairs Sanctuary. The upstairs is my private home, so please keep to the downstairs and any areas we’ve arranged together. You may sometimes be invited up, and when you are, you’re welcome. Just wait for the invitation.
An Offering of Gratitude
All are warmly invited to offer dana, a gratitude offering, to help sustain this living sanctuary. Loving this home back to vibrant life took great heart, effort, and nearly every dollar, and your generosity keeps her well. It goes toward supplies, the consumables you may use, and sliding-scale space for those who can’t pay full price. If you’ve enjoyed the tea, snacks, or other shared goods, please consider giving a little extra. You’re also welcome to bring something to contribute: a stone for the altar, a low-light plant, a box of tea, organic when you can. Simple ways to give are shared when you register, or you’ll find the community donation jar by the entry.
You’re welcomed here with no expectation beyond honoring these shared agreements. May this house be a refuge for you. May it offer you medicine, and may you offer your medicine in return.
— Sabrina